Katy Perry’s “Rise” Video Is Right On Time Because The Rio Olympic Struggle Is Reportedly Too Real.

Source: AV Club

Olympic determination has taken on a whole new meaning given the problems that have plagued Rio 2016 so far. From robberies to murdering the Olympic mascot, to the death of two people when the Olympic bike path fell into the ocean, to swimming in dead bodies and human feces. Yep you read that right. Oh and let’s not forget the Zika virus.

So thank you Katy for giving Olympians “Rise”. A song that might give them the extra oomph they need right now to finish a race….if that doesn’t do it, maybe these photos of her paddle-boarding with a nude Orlando Bloom will do the trick.

Insert obligatory “Rise” joke here.

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Are You Excited For The Olympics?

Because I’m pretty excited for the Olympics. Parker here & I can’t help it, any event where nations are competing brings out my inner patriot. But overall, it’s just amazing what these athletes are able to do after years and years of practice and sacrifice and dedication.

A few Slacker artists are helping with the festivities this year – you probably already know about Katy Perry‘s contribution.

IF THAT DID NOT GIVE YOU GOOSEBUMPS, YOU MIGHT BE A ROBOT. I’M JUST SAYING.

Fifth Harmony are ready to cheer on the US Women’s Gymnastics team, too, retweeting a preview of the team’s theme.


YESSSSSSSSSSS! USA! USA!

I’ll be watching the Opening Ceremonies and tweeting Friday night – watch with me and talk back by following @parkeronslacker!


Get psyched up between now and then by listening to Party Hits on Slacker!

The Met Gala – A Chance For Celebs To Double Down On Weird Fashion

Ah, the Met Gala. Your favorite stars hold back their weirdness all year in preparation for this one event, the annual fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute in New York. Previous years brought us Rihanna‘s crazy yellow fur trimmed blanket, Kim Kardashian’s wallpaper dress, and Solange’s… what was that thing she wore last year?

This year’s theme was “Manus vs. Machina” and you know what that means… robots. Kind of.

Unfortunately, this Tamagotchi was the closest thing Katy Perry could find to a robot.


Her date, Orlando Bloom, also rocked a Tamagotchi – but his was caught doing something totally inappropriate.

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(In case the memory of things that happened in 1998 is failing you, that tiny digital creature is pooping.)

MOVING ON… I’m not sure what Beyoncé‘s dress signified, but it slayed.

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Zayn… did this.


And Kanye impressed at least one person with his colored contacts… even if that person is married to him.


Everyone else mostly stuck to metallics.


And finally, although it didn’t really go with the theme, Rita Ora just wants us to remember one important thing.


Hear all the most fashionable songs now on Today’s Hits!

Let’s Play A Game Called, “Frat Hazing Scandal OR Madonna Stage Cameo??”

Source: Spin

Gagging on a banana of booze, surrounded by a circle of men while getting spanked, with spectators cheering the ringleader on sounds like the making of a terrible news story.

Nope! Just the latest tour stop for Madonna!

She has made quite the routine out of her Unapologetic Bitch show-closer, taking Taylor Swift’s “Welcome to the stage…” Next level.

Both can clearly be cringe-worthy on opposite ends of the spectrum. Taylor is gonna talk about herself and what it’s like to be besties with her…typical 25yr old stuff.

while Madonna’s stage antics might cause Requiem For A Dream-like PTSD.

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Good luck!

Tay’s Got To Live With The Bad Blood Now

Get ready to switch your affiliations to #TeamKaty.

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Taylor Swift came clean in her recent interview with GQ and it turns out, claiming Bad Blood was about her rift with Katy Perry was just a diversionary tactic. Regarding her statement in the September 2014 Rolling Stone feature, Taylor says:

“You’re in a Rolling Stone interview, and the writer says, ’Who is that song about? That sounds like a really intense moment from your life.’ And you sit there, and you know you’re on good terms with your ex-boyfriend, and you don’t want him — or his family — to think you’re firing shots at him. So you say, ’That was about losing a friend.’ And that’s basically all you say.”

So Katy took the fall, but according to Tay, her conscience is clear.

“I never said anything that would point a finger in the specific direction of one specific person, and I can sleep at night knowing that. I knew the song would be assigned to a person, and the easiest mark was someone who I didn’t want to be labeled with this song. It was not a song about heartbreak. It was about the loss of friendship.”

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???

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Unfortunately for Taylor, the Internet is a thing, which means we can look back to see exactly what it is she told Rolling Stone last year.

“For years, I was never sure if we were friends or not. She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, ’Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?’… She basically tried to sabotage an entire arena tour. She tried to hire a bunch of people out from under me.”

SOOOOO…. NOT as ambiguous as Tay might want us to believe. And more importantly, now we have to start figuring out who Bad Blood is REALLY about! Any guesses? Tweet @ParkerOnSlacker to share yours!

Whether you’re staying with #TeamTay or moving to #TeamKaty, you can hear all their biggest songs on Today’s Hits!

This Katy Perry Fan Will Never Wash Face, Arms, Hands, Self, Again.

Source: MTV

Katy clearly made this Katycat’s night! And I love how she was so cool about it.

Although “Rayane” may seem super handsy to America’s standards, aren’t Portuguese people more affectionate as a culture?? Maybe this is their version of a handshake?

Remember that…Especially if you ever run into Cristiano Ronaldo and then you can use this as an excuse. You’re welcome 🙂

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Shaq Is A KatyCat.

Source: TMZ

Shaq was hanging with Randall Park, the dude who played Kim Jong Un in The Interview and busted out a little impromptu Katy Perry. The weird thing is, if you close your eyes you can’t even tell the difference! At all. Not even kinda.

Obviously Katy will have to return the honor by covering one of Shaq’s classics.

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If/When Please Let Damon Albarn Play Blondie In The Lifetime Biopic.

damon blondie

Source: NME

That shot was taken in ’91 but something tells me Damon could still pull it off.  Check out this collection of artists dressing up like other artists, ie: Adele, Pearl Jam, Metallica…it’s pretty great and maybe it’ll spawn a sweet costume with Halloween around the corner…or maybe even a great outfit for work next week. Why Not?

Ps – Katy Perry is a long shot for the role of Mr. Fahrenheit :/

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