How Easy Are Drake’s Dance Moves In Hotline Bling? Why Even White People Can Do Them!

Woke up to this tweet from comedian Davon Magwood and winced while trying to find Hotline Bling as fast as I could…

“How bad could it be??”

:/

Now I could mock Drake for stealing moves from Jazzercise but why? Maybe bad dancing the latest ironic trend! Like man buns or pumpkin spice suppositories?

and if so, count me IN.

You watch something like Uptown Funk and you know it’s gonna take us awhile learn…years.

But the moves in Hotline Bling? With a little practice, white people could easily get down by Thanksgiving…2016.

On behalf of rhythmically-challenged caucasians, Thanks Drake!

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Tori Kelly, Once Again, Fails To Be More Cynical

So Tori Kelly is having a little bit of a freak out.

tori excited

But first, we have to back up a bit. See, this all has to do with a video that Britney Spears tweeted out this week, of her teaching a group of young girls to dance like they’re in her Piece Of Me cabaret show.


Seriously, there is a dance studio somewhere that just lets Brit walk in and instruct impressionable young girls to pop their booties whenever she feels like it? But whatever, I’m getting sidetracked. Most important is the song they’re dancing to – did you catch it? It’s Tori’s first big hit, Nobody Love. Tori tried to play it cool.


Buuuuuuut, I think it’s clear from the siren and SOS emoji’s that inside, tori’s all:

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As she should be. If you just can’t get enough Tori, you can always hear her biggest songs on Today’s Hits!

GRAB A CO-WORKER, A BABY, A CAT/DOG OR AN IMAGINARY FRIEND AND WATCH THIS NOW. INSTANT EUPHORIA.

Look I know you’ve seen a lot of Uptown Funk videos but this one is a mash up of 100 of your favorite movie dance scenes!

100!!

LET’S DANCE. NOW. SERIOUSLY. ALL CAPS. YES I’M YELLING. YOU. ME. ON THE FLOOR. NOW.

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Taylor Swift Recruits Beck To Create A Hot Awkward Duo Dance Move.

Source: AV Club

Taylor is a consumate professional. A calclated business woman who recently owned/branded one of her gauche dance moves, “The Mom-Croon”…so one can only assume that the asynchronous swivel motion at the :22 mark was probably planned and there wasn’t a lot of eye contact between Beck and Taylor so you know it was well-rehearsed. So what to name it?

The Swivel Pointer?
The Suave Swivel?
The Round and Round Get Down?

Btw, I can’t fault Swifties for fangirling because I’m definitely a “Vinnie”. The way Annie/St. Vincent shreds and struts?!?!

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Take Your Dance Battle Next Level With The Mom-Croon.

We all dream about accepting a spontaneous dance battle challenge and blowing everyone’s mind with some slick moves like Chubs & Blaq Knight.

Just know when it does happen, you’ve got a brand new weapon to bust out thx to Taylor Swift…

It’s called “The Mom-Croon.”

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Taylor took to Tumblr to explain, “The Mom-Croon – (noun) A dance move invented at the 2014 Grammy Awards. To sway, perform, and sing along to a song in an extremely emotional or sentimental way, possibly incorporating hand gestures. Eyes closed, lost in the music. The way your mom gets taken away by a tune from her high school days, glass of red wine in hand, shuffling around the room as her teenage kids roll their eyes in disdain. Cynics may judge the Mom-Crooners (MC’s as they are commonly referred to in the dance world) as it is a form of dance only perfected by those willing to be absolutely swept away by the feels you get when you hear a certain song. Those who know how to Mom Croon cannot see the eye rolls of haters. They have reached a level of musical transcendence that is hater-proof. Once you perfect the mom croon, you are truly free.

Used in a sentence: “Oh look, Taylor’s being embarrassing again– just mom-crooning away in the corner by herself because Sometimes by Britney Spears came on. Oh God. Now she’s crying.”*

Aw yisssss. Bring it ON.

Oh and don’t forget to keep Party Hits locked, cocked, loaded, it’s my dance battle station of choice 🙂

Good luck and lets go get ’em!

Red

**I’m going to assume you can Mom-Croon with or without tears…preferably without.