Coachella 2017: Yes, You Should Try To Buy A Ticket In The .03 Second Window Before Ticket Bots Jack Them All.

Source: Variety

Normally the Coachella lineup is released and you daydream about going….then Bryce  a few friends will pick it apart saying why the lineup sucks…and as negative as that sounds, it’s actually a coping skill.  Hating on Coachella snaps you out of actually wanting to go because realistically you know it will sell out before you ever had a shot. Why? BECAUSE BOTS. No really. Click here for a sobering read about ticket brokers/bots and how they happily devour your ticket dreams.

This year is slightly more depressing because the lineup is so damn good…and you know Beyonce wants you to be there!

So give it a shot, why not??

Someone has to get those tickets in the .03 window right??

Good luck…and if you see someone on the side of the road hitchin’ to the desert Shirley Temple-style, it’s me. So pull over.

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Tis The Season To Decorate Yourself With Holiday Merch From Your Favorite Artists.

BEYONCE.

bey-sleigh

Source: shop.beyonce.com

NAS

nas

Source: hstryclothing.com

RUN THE YULES

rtj-xmas

Source: daylightcurfew.com

BON JOVI

bon-jovi-xmas

Source: bonjoviofficialmerch.com

PAUL MCCARTNEY

mccartney-xmas

Source: paulmccartney.com

RYAN ADAMS

ryan-adams

Source: ryanadams.com

CARLY RAE JEPSON

carly-sleigh

Source: carlyraejepsonshop.com

RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS

rhcp-xmas

Source: merchbar.com

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! Click here to buy one for every music lover in the family…from Jason Mraz to Megadeath!

And let’s get ugly.

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Now You Can Stare At All The Beautiful People Who Went To Beyonce’s Soul Train Party Without It Getting Awkward.

Aren’t you kinda glad you didn’t go? Because you know someone would have said, “Who is the lurker in the back who keeps staring at everyone??” and this way we can stare in peace…

Highlights: Everyone over a 9.9 in the video below. Kidding, they’re all over a 9.9.


Source: Uproxx

Chance The Rapper’s t-shirt and yes you’re allowed to fantasize about this hook up. It’s just a fantasy. Amirite?

and the Queen herself…although I was kinda hoping she would have pulled out a Foxxy Cleopatra original.

www.instagram.com/p/BKAL7pJjolH/

She did Don Cornelius right. Check out more pics here.

Peace, Love and Soul Train bb.

 

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Caption This Photo Of Bill Clinton And Beyonce Because There Are So Many Different Ways You Could Go.

bill and bey

Source: London Ent/Splash News via Eonline.com

So? what do you think was going on here? and of course we could be crude but let’s be smarter than that because it’s more interesting.

Was it one of those situations where you’re uncomfortable because you don’t get the joke but laugh anyway?

or when you’re polite but the conversation has gone long and you really want to be with your friends?

She does seem to look guarded body language-wise but maybe he surprised her with some authenticity and that is a genuine laugh…

We’ll never know for sure so think of something good while listening to Beyonce: The Count UP. Celebrate your Queen and her birthday. If you heard Music News, I’m serious, who do I need to talk to to plan a Sapphire Jubilee?? The masks would be way less creepy than Queen Elizabeth II.

queens-diamond-jubilee-faces1

Source: Retox Magazine/Lynn Viali

Think about it. Love to hear any/all thoughts.

xo

Red

Beyoncé Gets Her Own Holiday – FINALLY

Beyoncé Day is a real thing – finally this graphic I made when I saw The Formation World Tour May 1 comes in handy.

bey day

At least, for the segment of the Beyhive that resides in Minnesota, where the Governor named May 23, 2016 “Beyonce Day” – noting that she has “influenced many young girls and women with powerful, positive messages in her songs” – giving a fancy proclamation and everything!

There are only a couple of problems with this –

1.) Pretty much immediately after this announcement was made, her show in Minneapolis was evacuated due to severe weather.

(Eventually, the weather passed, and fans were given the all clear to return to their seats. Close one. But did you really think Bey would let the WEATHER stop her? Come on now.)

2.) This is intended as a one time event, NOT the annual celebration of everything Beyoncé Knowles this country really needs. Just imagine if we all took one day each year to listen to her catalogue and reflect on how she might be the greatest performer of our generation.

We can make #BeyDay a thing! Starting now, with Slacker’s Beyonce: DNA station!

If You’re A Beyonce Fan And You Go To Jail, See If You Can Share A Cell With This Guy.

WARNING: NSFW LANGUAGE

Source: Gigwise

This might be hard to believe especially if you watch Lockdown/Locked Up Abroad, but some people actually have funny arrest stories. Stories you can tell at a dinner party without anyone walking out thinking you’re a (more) terrible person.

Now I don’t know all the details on this guy, his situation or his arrest but it’s got to be liberating to freak out mall-goers by simply singing a song. That’s one arrest most wouldn’t mind on their “record’.

Get it? record? POLICE RECORD??

Forget it :/

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The Met Gala – A Chance For Celebs To Double Down On Weird Fashion

Ah, the Met Gala. Your favorite stars hold back their weirdness all year in preparation for this one event, the annual fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute in New York. Previous years brought us Rihanna‘s crazy yellow fur trimmed blanket, Kim Kardashian’s wallpaper dress, and Solange’s… what was that thing she wore last year?

This year’s theme was “Manus vs. Machina” and you know what that means… robots. Kind of.

Unfortunately, this Tamagotchi was the closest thing Katy Perry could find to a robot.

Her date, Orlando Bloom, also rocked a Tamagotchi – but his was caught doing something totally inappropriate.

fbc58dmsjdauvezawq1h

(In case the memory of things that happened in 1998 is failing you, that tiny digital creature is pooping.)

MOVING ON… I’m not sure what Beyoncé‘s dress signified, but it slayed.

Beyonce-Knowles-Met-Gala-2016-Pictures

Zayn… did this.

And Kanye impressed at least one person with his colored contacts… even if that person is married to him.

Everyone else mostly stuck to metallics.

And finally, although it didn’t really go with the theme, Rita Ora just wants us to remember one important thing.

Hear all the most fashionable songs now on Today’s Hits!

Two Fans Join Beyonce On Stage To Perform Dance They Perfected By Ignoring Life’s Less-Fulfilling Responsibilities.

Source: Gigwise

Bey brought these girls on stage and while most would have understandably frozen in fear, babbled something incomprehensible and or simultaneously fainted/peed in the presence of their Queen, these two put their game face on and slayed “Single Ladies”. So if you are going to see her show, you might want to brush up.

Only problem, how do you go back to your seats after that kind of high?

“Sorry Bey now that I’m here, ya I’m not leaving.”

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