Jesus May Have More In Common With Rappers Than Bill O’Reilly.

Source: RollingStone

Killer Mike of Run The Jewels, sat in with Bill Maher to talk about Bill O’Reilly’s latest claim, Christianity is running out of believers because of Hip Hop music.

Mike should take O’Reilly under his wing and give him a taste of the lifestyle. Get him some ice to wear, a custom grill, maybe take him on a motorcycle ride with a hot honey?? Seriously O’Reilly would love it. It’s the typical “fear what you don’t know” mentality ….He just needs to experience it.*

Next thing you know O’Reilly will be begging to star in a Run The Jewels’ music video!

*Pardon the stereotypical lifestyle suggestions…like anything else, I’m sure the reality is probably much more mundane, but I think you should play it up a little bit. 

 

Janet Jackson Just Announced A World Tour And You Know What That Means.

First thought when I heard Janet is going to embark on a World Tour?

We’ve got some dancin’ to do.

So…

  • Decide which Janet is your fav (ie: Rhythm Nation, Love Will Never Do, Control, Escapade, etc.)
  • Clear the carpet
  • Cue up The Janet Jackson Top 33,
  • Stretch’ out
  • Get down

In that order.

Rihanna Stuns As The New Face Of Dior.

rih 2

Source: People Magazine

Only problem? As much as I want to celebrate this historic campaign, I can’t afford Dior.

Maybe we could all pitch in and buy a pair of $400 sunglasses and then take turns wearing them?

In the meantime, let’s watch this and pretend we actually can.

Jem And The Holograms: “TRULY OUTRAGEOUS” Or “TRUE OUTRAGE”?

Is this a cliche “bad dream” episode?? What did they do to a perfect cartoon?

Did you see any magic?? Did I blink and miss it? and don’t give me some bs line about how “magic is on the inside…” I MEAN REAL MAGIC. Synergy magic! Earring magic! MAGIC MAGIC.

synergy

The suspense of the Jem/Jerrica identitly switcharoo??

Jerrica_benton_jem

The Misfits and their rad van? Which was arguably better than Jem’s rockin’ roadster.

Misfits Van

I tried to have an open mind….but this is unacceptable.  Just go spend a day binge watching old episodes and you’ll see what I mean…and yes Rio always was a lost cause so lets pick our battles.

At a time when dead musicians are being brought back to life via holograms, THIS WOULD BE THE ONE TIME THAT HOLOGRAMS WOULD TOTALLY BE ACCEPTABLE…it could have been a worldwide tour??!

WAY TO GO HOLLYWOOD. YOU RUINED SCOOBY DOO, THEN YOU RUINED THE SMURFS AND NOW YOU’VE RUINED JEM. 

Beyonce: The New Mother Of Dragons.

game-of-thrones-dragon-eggs-051215

 

Source: Celebuzz

 

I want to believe that Jay Z did buy Beyonce a dragon egg as any good Game Of Thrones fan would but with baby dragons comes great responsibility…they are not accessories.

Can we agree now that Paris Hilton/Justin Bieber won’t be allowed the same luxury??  The last thing animal shelters need is rejected baby dragons…although it might take care of the overpopulation of rejected guinea pigs :/

How Stoked Is Brian Dunkleman Right Now?

american idol

Source: Imgur

Initially when I heard American Idol was cancelled, I felt like one of the people in this meme!

After 15 years, Dunkleman was finally vindicated.

Then the fear of what it will be replaced with sank in…Sometimes the devil you know is better than the one you don’t.

“Please be kittens, please be kittens, please be kittens.”

 

 

 

Dear Adam Levine, It Can Always Be Worse.

I’m sure this experience was very unsettling especially in the seconds after it happened while your brain tried to decipher what was actually thrown at you.

“Not anthrax…not cocaine….POWDERED SUGAR!”

That being said, let me explain the lesson at hand and why you’ve got to let something like this roll off your back…and look, I know it’s easy for me to say and hindsight is 20/20 BUT if you had just laughed, you would have endeared yourself even more to your fans!  You wouldn’t have looked borderline silly, getting all butt-hurt about confectioner’s sugar (it is softer than granulated) AND your ability to keep your cool in the face of sugar might deter another attack from happening.

Just how much worse could it have been? “Excrement” Adam…excrement.

Someone could have thrown human feces in your face…consequently making you beg for a precious sugar bomb.

I still wince every time I think about Tila Tequila at The Gathering Of The Juggalos.  Every. Single. Time.

So chin up, brush yourself off and get back in the game.

To Do List: Work On Beyonce Covers. Get Record Contract With Beyonce.

All this time we’ve been singing Beyonce songs at Karaoke Caturday Matinee when we should have been perfecting our Beyonce covers on Youtube. Click here and get to know the girls who might bey next in line to the throne.

 

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