Red

red

email: red@slacker.com
twitter: @redonslacker



I have an overactive imagination, a knack for awkwardness and I really think Kristen Wiig might be using me as the inspiration for some of her movie characters. Ps - I love music so much I would marry it.

May We All Find A Love Like The One Between Chrissy Teigen And Her Dogs.

chrissy legend

 

Source: Buzzfeed

We all strive to find a love in life…a partner who will adore you unconditionally… and sure we’ve all heard about Chrissy Teigen’s husband and his semi-successful ode to her, “All Of Me”…but not until today did I really envy Chrissy…BECAUSE, THIS.

Puddy, Pippa and Penny don’t love her for the Sports Illustrated spreads or the double date Waffle House dinners…they love her for HER… and maybe a dog treat.

I know this is a couple months old but I can’t stop watching it.

“Wiggle” and Workout With Jason Derulo.

Source: Billboard

Bottle of water? Check. Phone to distract you? Check. Ready to activate your obliques? I know I am.

Let’s get FIT.

Ps – How he didn’t fart doing those one-legged lunges I’ll never know…maybe they edited them out :/

Dancing Will Get You A Lot Of Ladies. A Lot. A Lot. Your Whole Life Long.

Source: The Daily Mirror

On the chance you haven’t seen/heard the story about Sean O’Brien…

Sean is the guy who was skewered online for dancing in public by trolls who never dance or feel joy and only live by the light of their computer screens…Sean decimated their petty attempts to destroy his happiness with the help of the good witches of social media.  He got to appear on The Today Show and he got to shake it on stage with Meghan Trainor…then he was whisked off to a huge dance party in LA, where Pharrell, Moby and Andrew WK were waiting to party with him.

Lesson learned? Give zero f*cks and dance.

Did Kevin Bacon do the angry dance in Footloose for nothing??

Normally I Wouldn’t Care About Festival Fashion But That Was Until This.

tiger beat tshirt

 

Source: Jezebel

Seriously the longer you look at it, the better it gets.

Add a soundtrack of any of the Electric Daisy Carnival compilations for next level effect. 

Pretty Much.

memorial day.

Thank you to all who serve in The Armed Forces and sacrifice so selflessly.

That goes for the men and women, as well as their families waiting at home.

“Please Baby Jesus Let Taylor Call And I’ll Behave Forever, Amen.” – Everyone In This Class.

teacher tay swift

Source: Imgur

I have questions…

1. How is this teacher going to know it’s really Taylor?

2. He should have been more specific because hypothetically speaking if she does call, don’t you kind of want a little chit chat? Not just a “hi, bye”?

3. Is Taylor the best option? How about a hour long conference call with Dave Grohl and Bill Murray??*

*I’m pretty sure I’ll obsess on this for a majority of the day.

It’s World Goth Day….Hot Topic Here We Come!!

We are going to channel Circe Nightshade and Azrael Abyss for World Goth Day 2015… a depraved day of despair!!

Cue up Bauhaus….and The Cure!

Play Love Song first, it’s my fav.

Later we can read Edgar Allen Poe aloud…and relish the ravenous ramblings of a madman!

I just have to be home by 5 because my parents are having a bbq

SO WITHOUT FURTHER A DO…..

FOLLOW ME DOWN THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL OF GLOOM AND DOOM!

 

You Know You’re Having A Bad Day When You Accidentally Fly Into A Tiger Enclosure.

Source: RT.com

Dude when that crane gets to work he’s gonna definitely one-up his coworkers with this story.

“So I’m flying along and this huge gust of wind comes right…and I’m like, ‘woah where am I??’ The next thing I know I’m staring at two tigers…damn wind blew me right into the tiger enclosure. WTF. I’M SCREWED. So I figure, what have I got to lose? I spread my wings chasin’ them around yelling, ‘COME AT ME.’ I stare ’em straight in the eye and I start doin’ a couple moves I saw in a Bruce Lee flick and then they think I’m that douche, David Cross from Kung Fu Panda….Whatever. That was the turning point….now I’ve got hand and they’re asking me if I’ll get Angelina Jolie’s autograph?! So I’m like, “Surrrrre. I’ll call her when I get home.” and that’s when the zookeeper came in!! So I yell ‘SO LONG SUCKERS!’ and I got the hell out of there.”

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