Red

red

email: red@slacker.com
twitter: @redonslacker



I have an overactive imagination, a knack for awkwardness and I really think Kristen Wiig might be using me as the inspiration for some of her movie characters. Ps - I love music so much I would marry it.

What The Heck Is Happening in This Video? Madonna Edition.

Today we are going to analyze the video for the highly anticipated video, Bitch, I’m Madonna.

What is it about? Clearly it’s like one of those speakeasy parties… “Bitch, I’m Madonna” is the password to get in.  Madonna gets lost looking for Beyonce, Katy Perry and Kanye but she finds something even better, SOCK PUPPETS!!! Then she ends up dancing in a closet alone like she always does and then she goes to sleep.

Ps – If you’re having a speakeasy party anytime soon please make “Sock Puppets” the password.

Say it with me ssssssock puppppppets.

Dude, Glastonbury! What Are You Doing?!

As far as I know, the trouble with Glastonbury 2015 all started when they put Kanye West on the lineup and people were pissed…so pissed they signed a petition and at last count that petition was 130,000 pissed-people strong.

kanye petition

Kanye-haters even called in death threats to festival organizers…Yep over music.

Btw do you practice in the mirror before you call in a death threat? Probably right? Loses the effect if you stutter, hang up and have to call back. 

Enter Dave Grohl, Foo Fighters Frontman, residing Mayor of Rock and Roll and fellow Glastonbury headliner…

foo fighter super

Dave sticks up for Kanye, says it’s gonna be “punk rock” for him to step out on the stage because “100,000 could bottle him”  and he has faith Kanye will pull it off, momentarily quelling the crowd.

Whew…Right?

Wrong…Dave breaks his leg on stage and has to cancel Glastonbury gig per doctor’s orders.

oh damn

Sh*t just got real.

So who did they pick as a replacement for a high energy good time beloved rock band?

A lady who sings lullabies.  Pretty lullabies but lullabies none the less.

Will Kanye rage intensify? or will Florence and her soothing sounds machine calm the crowd??

glastonbury is coming

Good luck Glastonbury, I will pray for you. 

 

Ps – Dave Grohl wanted me to give you this letter. Click here to read.

What The Heck Is Happening In This Video?

Today we are going to analyze the video for my current music crush, Crystals by Of Monsters And Men

What is it about? Well clearly she’s some kind of magic lady who recycles Christmas decorations into hot chicks. Right?? Has to be.

Ps – Don’t you love how you can always count on Iceland to get a little weird?? I think Bjork would be proud.

The new album is called “Beneath The Skin”. Check it out.

I’ll Endorse Your Shampoo On One Condition-er.

pantene

Image: Pantene

Selena Gomez is the new “Face of Pantene” which really makes no sense because shouldn’t she be the new “Hair of Pantene”?

Then again why ask questions when they’re paying you 3 million dollars to pimp hair care?

I’ll tell you why “fine print.”

What happens when she goes to a salon? They usually don’t carry Pantene…Does she have to bring her own?  What if one of her so-called friends switches out her shampoo? You can’t trust Hollywood people!  These are all questions Selena better ask up front because if they’re paying her that much you know there’s some serious fine print.

Ie: Pantene reserves the right to shave Endorser’s head and steal Endorser’s wigs in the event Endorser is caught using any other hair product brand.

Ps – I use NouNou. Tell them I will gladly do an endorsement but only if my commercial can be like Billy Madison in the bathtub.

Prince Harry’s Gaga Faux Pas.

gaga harry

Photo Credit: Mark Allan/Invision-AP
Source: Time

Dear Prince Harry,

Although Time Magazine thought Lady Gaga was under-dressed when you met her backstage, I think it was you that was ill-clad. If you’re going to meet Gaga, be all about it! Throw on a boa or maybe Sparkle Panties??  That being said, she also missed an opportunity by not drawing double-eyebrows on you.

Chalk this up to a learning experience and next time, call me! You’re probably just sheltered being royal and all.

Respectfully,

Red

Slacker Host/Fun Photo Consultant

 

Kendrick Lamar One-Ups Cliche School Assembly Wildlife Guy Who Let You Pet The Python.

lamar

Image: Twitter/Colleen Wright via Musicfeeds.com

Did you have a teacher who used music in class to help you better understand a story/lesson?

I had one…only one. Mr. Collins. My High School History teacher and I never forgot it.

So take that feeling, multiply it by 100 and we might be able to imagine how the kids at High Tech High School felt when Kendrick Lamar walked into class.  All thanks to Mr. Mooney, English teacher and Poetry Club organizer at High Tech who used To Pimp A Butterfly to help analyze the 1970 novel, The Bluest Eye.

Kendrick found out about Mr. Mooney’s lesson after his blog post about using hip hop as a teaching tool went viral and the next thing you know, Kendrick is in the classroom with these kids.

As a college dropout myself who knows just how real the struggle is, it is so encouraging to know there is a teacher out there who gets it. We all learn differently…and just because you learn differently doesn’t mean you’re not intelligent.

Now thinking about it, the python was a perfect metaphor for my entire school career. Thx Wildlife Guy.

Ps – Tell Mr. Mooney, I think he’s got “Favorite Teacher” on lock.

 

“Damn Daddy” Indeed.

drake

Source: MTV

Clearly “Champagne Papi” has been workin’ on his fitness! Drake Instagrammed this hot shot and no you weren’t the only one fanning your undercarriage.

Justin Bieber was so impressed he felt compelled to comment but the only words he could muster?

“Damn Daddy.”

Well said Biebs…

Ps – how do you get those muscle lines under your belly button without drawing them in?

Where Has Akon Been? Oh Just Figuring Out A Way To Bring Electricity To Africa. NBD.

Source: The Root

You could use your celebrity superpowers to get a table in the middle of a fancy restaurant or you could use them to light an entire continent. Akon opted for the latter.

The hip hop singer has been working on an initiative that will not only bring electricity to 600 million people but a “Solar Academy” that will create jobs as well.

DUDE. THIS IS HUGE.

So think good thoughts! and fingers crossed for once, lets see if humans can create something potentially wonderful without ruining it with corruption and greed…for once.

Ps – “Solar Academy” is really fun to say.

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