Red

red

email: red@slacker.com
twitter: @redonslacker



I have an overactive imagination, a knack for awkwardness and I really think Kristen Wiig might be using me as the inspiration for some of her movie characters. Ps - I love music so much I would marry it.

Dancing Will Get You A Lot Of Ladies. A Lot. A Lot. Your Whole Life Long.

Source: The Daily Mirror

On the chance you haven’t seen/heard the story about Sean O’Brien…

Sean is the guy who was skewered online for dancing in public by trolls who never dance or feel joy and only live by the light of their computer screens…Sean decimated their petty attempts to destroy his happiness with the help of the good witches of social media.  He got to appear on The Today Show and he got to shake it on stage with Meghan Trainor…then he was whisked off to a huge dance party in LA, where Pharrell, Moby and Andrew WK were waiting to party with him.

Lesson learned? Give zero f*cks and dance.

Did Kevin Bacon do the angry dance in Footloose for nothing??

Normally I Wouldn’t Care About Festival Fashion But That Was Until This.

tiger beat tshirt

 

Source: Jezebel

Seriously the longer you look at it, the better it gets.

Add a soundtrack of any of the Electric Daisy Carnival compilations for next level effect. 

Pretty Much.

memorial day.

Thank you to all who serve in The Armed Forces and sacrifice so selflessly.

That goes for the men and women, as well as their families waiting at home.

“Please Baby Jesus Let Taylor Call And I’ll Behave Forever, Amen.” – Everyone In This Class.

teacher tay swift

Source: Imgur

I have questions…

1. How is this teacher going to know it’s really Taylor?

2. He should have been more specific because hypothetically speaking if she does call, don’t you kind of want a little chit chat? Not just a “hi, bye”?

3. Is Taylor the best option? How about a hour long conference call with Dave Grohl and Bill Murray??*

*I’m pretty sure I’ll obsess on this for a majority of the day.

It’s World Goth Day….Hot Topic Here We Come!!

We are going to channel Circe Nightshade and Azrael Abyss for World Goth Day 2015… a depraved day of despair!!

Cue up Bauhaus….and The Cure!

Play Love Song first, it’s my fav.

Later we can read Edgar Allen Poe aloud…and relish the ravenous ramblings of a madman!

I just have to be home by 5 because my parents are having a bbq

SO WITHOUT FURTHER A DO…..

FOLLOW ME DOWN THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL OF GLOOM AND DOOM!

 

You Know You’re Having A Bad Day When You Accidentally Fly Into A Tiger Enclosure.

Source: RT.com

Dude when that crane gets to work he’s gonna definitely one-up his coworkers with this story.

“So I’m flying along and this huge gust of wind comes right…and I’m like, ‘woah where am I??’ The next thing I know I’m staring at two tigers…damn wind blew me right into the tiger enclosure. WTF. I’M SCREWED. So I figure, what have I got to lose? I spread my wings chasin’ them around yelling, ‘COME AT ME.’ I stare ’em straight in the eye and I start doin’ a couple moves I saw in a Bruce Lee flick and then they think I’m that douche, David Cross from Kung Fu Panda….Whatever. That was the turning point….now I’ve got hand and they’re asking me if I’ll get Angelina Jolie’s autograph?! So I’m like, “Surrrrre. I’ll call her when I get home.” and that’s when the zookeeper came in!! So I yell ‘SO LONG SUCKERS!’ and I got the hell out of there.”

Three Things Mortal Men Cannot Do.

mortals

Source: Imgur

You’ve probably stared at the glory of this photo before.

To see a God like Robert Plant comfortably hold a dove that flew to him during a concert?? because doves only fly to Gods.

He even looks comfortable in very uncomfortable jeans?? Something only a God could do.

But today I noticed something new…His ability to make puffy short sleeves actually look hot.

Makes you wonder if Robert Plant starred in Ghostbusters…Totally different ending.

gozer

Speaking of Mr. Plant, listen for the Led Zeppelin Top 33 starting Monday, June 1st!

 

 

A Good Scare In Less Than 3 Minutes.

I saw this today on Imgur and like any horror movie fan I was intrigued. Unfortunately very few of my friends like to be scared so I’ve been texting “Watch this. Great short movie. Hilarious” all day.

I’m pretty sure I will have less friends thanks to my diabolical prank.

Enjoy and sweet dreams!

mwhahahahaha.

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